Madonna in Spanish?

Yes, it's not all about La Isla Bonita, check out this video from the folks at General Linguistics and learn Spanish with her!



And if you'd like to buy the program, I found this Thanksgiving Sale:
Bueno, entonces... Thanksgiving sale!

my opinion

Well who would have guessed. The last class Jimena finally goes for David! This makes me happy!!! But, just when he stops hitting on her all the time and is not picking up any of her signals, thats when she decides she must have him. There is a word I learned down here pretty quick: histerico. Quite like the English version, hysterical. The men and women in dating relationship situations are absolutely histerico! It is so hot and cold. "You are amazing, I am going to write a song about you, so beautiful....blah, blah" and then no phone call. Then you decide "screw it" and move on, and then they casually text days later to go have dinner, but then if you try to get a time to meet the question is dodged. It is crazy. My phone is full of numbers of guys I meet and then forget about due to this absurd dating phenomenon. At one point men were asking for my number and I would laugh and explain to them my opinion of the histerico boys here and if they wanted to call me they must do so by a given hour the following day or I am deleting the number. I once had 3 phone calls lined up. Funny, with the "structure" if you will, they all called.

Anyways, they leave you hanging on a thread for as David is walking out the door it rings (the door bell) and there the class ends. Presumably it is his date that stood him up. This is the hook to buy the next level. So it ends without confirming that him and Jimena are meeting for a date.

To comment on my experiences with Bueno, entonces...I will definitely buy level two when it comes out, this has been an incredibly well done spanish class and I have learned so much. The humor is great, the overall style is well written, and David and Jimena both do an excellent job. The overall format is far superior to Rosetta Stone, and is cheaper. On top of it, they teach you so much about Argentine culture and even speak Argentine spanish. I have never even heard of a spanish program that uses the Argentine accent. 

Things that I would like to see improved or added: One thing I love about Argentine culture is the use of hand gestures to accompany and add emphasis to what is being said. They should definitely use these in the video. Additionally, although they have support materials I would like more exercises to do at home after the lesson, I just end up re watching the lesson and do not really have anything to practice with other than following along and repeating everything they are saying. Finally - and I hope this doesn't seriously offend anyone down in the studio - but I can't stand the girls voice who introduces and summarizes every lesson. She has the typically valley girl voice and I don't think there is a person in the world who wants to hear that if they don't have to. So many times when I speak English in other countries and people hear I am from California, they always say "wow! you sure don't sound like a Californian, your accent is really different" and when I ask what they are used to I get a very bad impersonation of the typical "valley girl" accent. This is what much of the world thinks Californians sound like...WE DON'T!!! It is a small sampling! In short, they could really loose that intro.

Well, that is all. Thank you to the Buenos, entonces... staff for giving me this great oppourtunity to write about the program and to learn so much down here in the beautiful city of Buenos Aires!

I am in the BsAs Herald!

YAY! I am in the Buenos Aires Herald! Awesome! My friend is a writer for this newspaper and he did an article on the destruction of old buildings in Buenos Aires. I am currently living in a house in La Boca that is over 120 years old with a group of artists and he wrote a little about what I am doing here in Buenos Aires and the house I live in. You can find it in the life and leisure section. There is not a photo in the online version but in the print copy. I will be FAMOUS (not really...) OK, but still pretty cool for my growing list of things I experienced in BsAs. 

So this is the LAST Class - not really there is one more - but the last official class in the sound booth. I have to admit, I was really hoping David and Jimena would hook up, I guess it is the whole TV series style approach to the learning that goes on. She does end up leaving her boyfriend though, and it seems that her and David just have a really fun playful friendship. 

This program has been excellent and I would recommend it to anyone. This is definitely the best computer program for leaning to speak spanish that I have ever encountered and hope that they have a series 2. I will write one more entry as there is one more class left (I believe it is a phone call class) and then give an overall review of the program. 

Another interesting things about class 29 is they went over all of the beautiful places in Argentina. It was a good reminder that I need to do some traveling before I leave. The waterfalls in Iguazu look absolutely amazing, and the glaciers in Patagonia. This truly is an incredibly beautiful country! 

Bueno, entonces...is better than Rosetta Stone

I have included this comparison chart to give you the data straightforward regarding what you get when you purchase the Bueno, entonces...program. I have years of experience teaching and there are straightforward ways to convey information if you really want someone to engage and learn the material. For me this is: entertainment value of what you are saying, making the material relevant to the students life (accessing prior knowledge), and if working with older students - anytime you can relate the material to sex, drugs, or taboo's you will have rapt attention from everyone. This program accomplishes all of these learning strategies and it really is a cheap excellent way to learn spanish. Granted you are not going to come out speaking perfect spanish, you have to practice using the language in the real world and hear other peoples accents. But is you follow along repeating everything they say and look at the words spelled on the "magic whiteboard" you learn so much. You don't even realize how much you are learning because the humor carries the information straight into your brain. It is like a catchy jingle that you find yourself humming. Sometimes I am conversing in spanish with people and don't even know where I got the words I am using...then a foolish David pops into my head doing a strip dance or something else from the program. I give this the highest recommendations and think that this would be an excellent supplemental program for any college spanish course or prep before studying abroad. They even include an entire slang dictionary (which is genius, I have some friends down here that only speak in slang) and support material for each lesson. For me, I think 

Bueno, entonces... is far superior to Rosetta Stone.

no me gustan los strippers

This image is pretty hilarious to me because I was walking with a friend today to find an art store in La Boca and we spotted a really cool hooded jacket in a store window. He is learning to speak spanish and went into the store to ask if he could try on the jacket in the window but totally called it a dress! The man looked at him and pulled a dress out behind the counter and then we all laughed so hard. 

This same friend lives with me in the art collective in La Boca and he walked into my room the other night when I was taking my spanish lesson  with Bueno, entonces...He set down to watch it with me and was laughing so hard saying "this program is incredible! I can't believe it, its like a funny show!" It was another reality check how different it is. I have seen so many lessons now I have become used to being highly entertained while learning, but it was a great reminder as to how well done this language learning tool is. In lesson 27 they talk about the ritual of the bachelor party and David even gives an absurd strip dance in the sound booth. Something I learned from this lesson that I have been saying wrong for months now is "Mi encantaria!" When someone asks you if you can do something and you reply with this you are actually saying "I would love to but unfortunately cannot." I have said this so many times and wondered why there was confusion following my reply...now I see. 

Take a look at the below slide. I had to insert it just to challenge you to find me a better spanish program then this. Granted, not everything is about sex and having a good time in life - but shouldn't it be?

: )

brujulas y concha

This episode is great! Look, I even find myself calling Bueno, entonces... an episode when it actually a learning program. That shows you how different it is to all the spanish learning tools out there. It is really the best spanish program I have ever found.  I included the picture with the brujula because I think it is an excellent word in Spanish and one that I have used many times as I have a tattoo of a very old symbol from Haiti that symbolically stands for a compass. People ask me all the time what my tattoo means because it is a very intriguing symbol so I learned that word in my first week. In the lesson though good 'ol David is using it to refers to his "man hood" compass that always points north in the love corner of the house. He goes on and on about his Kamasutra course (injured pride from the girl before saying he was bad in bed) and explains how to determine the Feng Shui love corner in your house using an oyster. You apparently through a live oyster against the ground to break its shell and then the animal climbs out and crawls toward a direction in the room...this is the subsequent corner of love : ) even if it is all tall tales it is superbly entertaining! The name for shell in spanish is "concha" which also stands for one of my favorite parts of the female body...go ahead and look that one up! Its a spicy word! They go through a lesson of the house and furniture within it by revealing sexual experiences had on/against each said item. The writing of this program is genius!

Voy a bailar como un mono

I had my first new spanish class in a school in Palermo today. The teacher was significantly impressed with my level of spanish (thank you Bueno, entonces...) and it seems like a good fit there for me. I came home and began painting an idea that is so genius I had trouble falling asleep, I was am excited about it! I keep alluding to said new discovery due to the fact that I can't share it yet because I don't want anyone to jump the gun on me. Suffice to say, when it have finished a set I shall post pictures of my art. Another great complement to my spanish speaking skills...I was chatting up the kiosko guy and he thought I was from Italy - AWESOME! gringo accent is not reigning supreme! I have been working really hard on the rolling of my rr's and a nice speaking cadence. Class 25 covers some future tenses and reminds me how happy I am to be learning spanish in a country that basically uses the very IR + INFINITIVE. For example...Voy a caminar por la playa. Or, voy a hablar con mi hermano. You can changing anything in the future by saying "I am going to..."  I do not need another set of verb conjugations to worry about memorizing. I really wish Jimena could be my spanish teacher. She is my teacher in one form because I get to interact with her through her relationship with David in the program, but so much of learning Spanish is conversing and correcting your manner of speaking with another person.

Vamos a Mendoza!

This episode has inspired me! David is apparently following his mother in Mendoza to keep an eye on her and the tanguero (gigolo). He is talking about the beautiful lake, trees, vineyards, and clean air. I can not remember clean air. I have been in the city for so long I need to get out. I think my monday is free from work so I could have a long weekend riding a bicycle and trying tinto (red wine) to my hearts content. I have been looking at bus tickets! I took a 23hour bus ride to Bariloche a few months back and it blew my mind! The long distance busses here are INCREDIBLE! They give you piles of food, wine, desert, and whiskey! Additionally there are multiple movies and the seats recline into beds. If you are ever in Argentina the busses are a must! Central America is a whole other situation though. I was afraid to sleep on the busses for fear of waking up at gun point and needing to have a plan of action formulated. The busses get stopped by street gangs and robbed, often with many people being killed.  They cannot drive past a certain hour due to the danger of driving on the streets (these little facts are the things I try to leave out when telling my parents I am heading south solo with a backpack). 

Anyways, David is tracking his mother in Mendoza all the while on the phone with Jimena who is tailing her boyfriend because she fears he might be cheating on her. Hate to stereotype Argentina, but the men down here are PRETTY scandalous. Most of the guys I meet who are hitting on me have girlfriends, and most of the women I have talked to are aware their boyfriend has cheated on them or had a boyfriend who cheated in the past. Malisimo! Why have boyfriends?

His mom has a gigolo!

Well, this little dicho is too good to pass up. I will bring the bikini you bring the kisses. It reminds me of better times when the sun is shining and you can crack open a cold beer in the shade of your beach unbrella. QUE PASO BUENOS AIRES??? It is freezing. Moments like this and I am questioning the whole art co-op drafty 120 year old house in the middle of winter next to the most polluted body of water in the world. Ah La Boca you are a difficult love. Sometimes I am all about it, and other times she is just a dirty cold friend. Well, I should never complain. My life is to make art, music, and learn to speak spanish in Buenos Aires. In fact after writing that I feel better. Tomorrow I have to get up at 11am for a whopping 2 hours of work and then return to my art space to hang out and spread paint on a canvas while trying to make the strenuous decision of going to meet up with the circus in Peru this coming January. Rough life. My friends are in a great circus out of San Francisco called Dreamtime Family Circus, they are AMAZING!

I need to keep pushing the spanish for these upcoming possible South American adventures. Lesson 23 was pretty amazing where I learned quite a bit of vocabulary through David's tales that his mother is running off to Mendoza for a weekend with a strong muscled young porteno tanguero who speaks no English, and she no spanish...hmmmm. And she is paying for the whole trip. Well David, more power to her I say! I have respect for the cougars, they help to tip the traditional sexist scale around. Why not, if everyone is having fun. I wonder what the spanish word for gigolo is?

push my buttons

Class 22! I am cruising along and actually learning with this program Bueno, entonces...David is such a chamuyero but he does make the lessons interesting. I don't know if I will ever be able to approach an ATM (cajero automatico) without thinking about David's little tall tale of the transvestite behind him in line with the "baskteballs"  and the policeman waving his hands, the cell phone going on speaker phone with the woman yelling that David is bad in bed. The humor really locks the lessons into your brain with memories you don't actually have but access as if they are your own personal tales. I think I will see if I can steal his little story to retell in spanish as a person test for myself. I love that he raps it all up with a reference to Jimena about being able to work her like a cash machine, but she tells him he has no idea what buttons to press (the above clip refers to that). You just can't get a better language learning program with humor than this. 

I am currently working on a painting right now with architecture from my balcony window. The houses in this area of La Boca are so incredible, the one I live in is over 120 years old! I sit in my balcony and sketch the surrounding buildings and iron work patterns for inclusion into my painting. Life is pretty sweet! And the guy who sells my produce downstairs is hot so I get to buy my  veggies while practicing all of Davids ridiculous lines : )

beware the telo

Some spanish programs teach you about the "room" and the "bed" and go through descriptions to be able to speak about the boring room. Not Bueno, entonces...in class 21 David describes the "Telo" he went to with the girl he likes. Now this is pretty hilarious because a telo is basically a sex hotel where you pay by the hour. Now, honest - I haven't been so lucky to see one of these establishments yet, and I hear in BsAs they are quite the trip. Super sketchy, dirty, benches with belts and straps, bad lighting, pornographic pictures on the wall. I love that they go through room descriptions in spanish so David is able to describe the awful experience he had in this place and now feels that he has a dirty soul. 

Ya never know when you might end up in one of these spots, so pay close attention to lesson 21 

: )

I have been painting like a possessed person, making art and playing guitar all the time. The newest piece I am working on is inspired by the incredible architecture in the barrio of La Boca. The old architecture and wrought iron work supply a never ending flood of ideas. I sit out in the streets and on my balcony to sketch and take ideas back to the art space. My mind feels like an open conduit and the ideas rush in faster than I can create them. I kind of just want to sit up and drink mate and paint to my hearts content!

mi palabra nuevo

Well, great news! I met an excellent man at a bar that my friends are interested in buying and opening in San Telmo. He is a writer and works for the Buenos Aires Herald, AND he wants to do a story on me and my experiences in Buenos Aires. It is linked to the bigger story of the very old buildings here in Argentina and that I live in a home over 120 years old in La Boca. Interesting enough he is including one other person in the article who happens to be the man who started  Bueno, entonces...What a synchronicity! Out of a city of 13million I seem to get involved in all the right groups and keep running into the same people. The writers name is Matt, and he came and took photos of me and my art work.  After finishing this blog I need to write back responses to the questions he is asking me. When it is published, I will post the link!

I am already in lesson 20, I can't believe it, and yet the sex jokes keep rolling. I am also wondering how I have made it this long without learning the word for orgasm in spanish...ACABO

Acabo de llegar de mi clase de espanol - In this context it means I just arrived from my spanish class. But in another form -  siempre acabo con Diego - Means I always orgasm with Diego. I can see that is one palabra to be careful with. Watching the lessons feels like an addictive TV series where you are waiting to see what will happen next. David is ridiculous and asks to borrow Jimena's apartment to have sex with another woman in her house because his mom is staying in his place...oh David...

my teacher is an old pervert

To acquire a new language is difficult. I waver between casually enjoying the process and declaring proclamations such as "I will NOT speak English in this country any more! Only Spanish, I must learn this language". And then I carry my little dictionarrio around and try to be all studious and eventually realize this approach is not for me. I am on the look out for a new Spanish teacher to supplement my lessons through Bueno, entonces...for as great as the program is, I still need guided practice. I had an excellent teacher in theory until he tried to go through a lesson on the names of the body parts in Spanish by touching me...not that that hasn't been one of my most dreamt of fantasies, it is just that it always features a drop dead gorgeous Spanish teacher followed by a lesson of the names of all the places in the house "mesa", "cama", "douche". Well, I am done with male teachers, getting a female and sidestepping the whole problem. 

I thought my handle on the verb "to be" had gotten pretty good, but the reality is that it is still confusing. I realized this when lesson 19 went back and addressed "ser" and "estar". I completely get the concept but these words are used so much in conversation I don't even realize I am using them incorrectly. It is great to see the color coding the way they do it on the program because you see it in context and then it locks that image into your head for later use. This is also true for all of the masculine and feminine adjectives, the color coding is helping me to access it for later use in my vocabulary. 

secrete show!

As most of our shows have been on the streets of BsAs, it was a beautiful change to actually play in a bar. We called the show "from streets to seats" and it was in the incredible bar in Palermo that didn't even have a name but an address that you have to ring and they unlock the door for you. Inside was beautiful art work and interesting decor, complete with the lower halves of women, all legs and sexy stockings. We set up in a back room that was very Victorian style with beautiful wood and elegant chairs. Many of our close friends came and piled into the cozy intimate space. We had a wonderful time, the harmonies were beautifully mixing, and we even had a friend come and play the cajon (Peruvian box drum). A special surprise came when the brother of the cajon player showed up and danced the most incredible flamenco and they sang old flamenco songs - they kind of stole the show, but we were a nice contrast with our strong female energy. We have video footage and will be recording a CD tomorrow, I LOVE THIS CITY!  

Clearly the art and music has been coming on strong, I just need to keep the momentum with the spanish. I am learning great things through Bueno, entonces...and as it is very street smart and nightlife aplicable, I put the lessons into direct practice right away. The program displays the verbs and conjugations so well with the color coding and all of the visual cues. It prevents the confusions between adjectives, verbs, nouns, feminine and masculine. A very hard concept for me in spanish are the reflexive verbs, but again they deal with what could be a boring subject in such a funny way that the concept gets directly wired to your brain.
Who wants to waste time learning to say "she has a white dog" when you can be learning much more applicable things (especially in this country) such as "tiene piel como chocolate blanco".

La Cabrera

I have found the most amazing Parrilla! It is not cheap, that is for sure, and you can expect to wait at least an hour to get a seat, even on a Tuesday night, BUT while you are waiting they give you free beer, champagne, and appetizers. I went with my friend for her birthday and the dinner was amazing. Certain cuts of meat are so tender you can cut them with a spoon. Every dish you order comes with 20 mini side condiments. Everything from roasted garlic, mashed potatoes, creamed mushrooms, hummus, salsa, poached pears...INCREDIBLE. And although it is expensive considering my current Argentine artist budget, after wine, perfectly cooked tenderloin, salad, and appetizers, the bill was still around 35 dollars each. This restaurant is called La Cabrera, in Palermo viejo. After leaving (they also sang happy birthday and gave her a beautiful desert with flaming candle) we were going to call it an early night because we had a show the following day. But then we met the Russians. 

This couple was standing lost on a street corner and after giving them directions they insisted on buying beers because it was Alicias Bday - why not? We headed to a bar called Cronico in plaza Serrano which I do not know if we will ever be allowed back into. They were the rowdiest bunch of people. Kattia and her boyfriend, who's name I do not remember...his nickname was a very strange word she kept calling him, and when I asked the significance she stood up, hiked her skirt over her underwear and smacked her ass. Apparently his nickname is the Russian word for "butt". They proceed to smash bottles on the ground after finishing them with a loud "Ohpah!" Some one at the adjoining table asked for a cigarette from butt man and in true style he jumped up on our table did a little dance walk across it, and jumped onto theirs to pass the cigarette. I have no idea how we were not kicked out. Suffice to say, we didn't make it home till 6 in the am.

The "magic" awards

I do not watch much TV, in fact I have not owned one in around 10 years. But there are some new shows out there that re define sitcom for me. My three favorite are; Arrested Development, The Office, and Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Now I mention these in order to better describe the event I went to last night called "The annual Magic Awards". One of my favorite characters from Arrested Development is called "Job", and he is such a fool. He is a professional magician and you get these peaks into the twisted land of cheesy preforming magicians. Well, I just experienced that last night, in the real sense, here in Argentina. I went to the show because I had a friend doing a dance performance there and did not know it was "the MAGIC awards". The whole production was so overwhelmingly cheesy I could not stifle my laughter at times. A completely other world. The presentation went on in Spanish - of course - and I did OK following the general idea. It is hard to just listen to the words and not be close enough to read the eyes and hand gestures. So much of language learning is inferring through the gestures. This is why Bueno, entonces...is such a great program. You get to listen to the language, but more importantly watch the expressions and see pictures associated with the lessons. All of this serves to better cement the vocabulary and cadence of the language into your brain. Well, this day is lovely so I am off!

binky sucking pirate

Well, my last 24 hours have been something out of a twisted fairytale - a check to why I live in cities...the characters you can encounter with such frequency are overwhelming, sometimes the energy is just so, and they all come out of the cracks to congregate. It is like I am partaking in an offbeat martian comedy or something out of the parable of the poisoned well. I was in San Telmo around 4 in the am, street drinking with a group of friends and misfits when my body becomes suddenly aware of a creature before I even get a visual. Milling about yet close to the group, he was a beraggeled trip. With a fit of nappy hair, tangled beard, massive duct tape backpack, and one piece jumper. His steps were far apart with bent knees, moving close to the ground and pirate eyeing our group, circling, yet keeping a good brick throws distance. The real kicker - a neon pink pacifier in his mouth all the while sucking hungrily. We decide to move on to a corner under a beautiful lamplight so my friends could preform. Our group was quite the motley crew as well - toothless older dude who had a never ending supply of tall tales, a gaucho cowboy esque man who plays the cajon and sings wonderful flamenco, his incredibly gay mormon brother who click clacks in his high heeled dancing shoes and speaks such fast castellano slang (thank god for Bueno, entonces...)my head spun trying to get a handle on what the hell we were laughing about, my doll like sweet friend with a glow like a bottecelli, a blue haired punky street kid, and some Austraillians (It seems like the Aussies are everywhere, they are like movie extras in my life). So, we head under the street light, on a misty night kickin it down a cobblestone street in the beautiful antique barrio. Pirate binky sucker follows in the shadows. When we proceed to stoop it under that beautiful orb and my friend breaks incredible rhythms on the cajon and song, his brother throws down a wooden board and dances the most amazing high speed flamenco tap with extraordinary elaborate and exaggerated hand gestures remanecint of New Zealand bird mating dances. In my visual I have the creature, who quickly slinks over onto an open lit area of the side walk (there are a good 15 people around, mind you) and takes a shit. He then then proceeds to guard his creation, walking the perimeter, almost like he was taking reconnaissance. Between the flamboyant dancing and the binky sucking feces circling pirate I lost it and laughed so hard I about peed myself. Back in San Telmo this afternoon, I went with a friend to play guitar and sing to the streets in the sunshine. Again I found myself surrounded with a group of the strangest cats...one man who played and sang deep tango love songs fully acting them out with guitar and complete chamuyero drama, a young street kid who couldn't get enough of our deep south blue grass songs, an older matronly piano teacher, and an old man from Uraguay who also sang tango loud enough to keep the pigeons off of our empanadas. We passed around guitars and shared music, ending up in a parrilla where they gave us free beer, wine, and food while we brought the house down with songs sitting at the bar. Music is the vibration of unity bringing us all together. Its power to connect cultures and age groups, creatures and freaks is just endless. What a day!

El hormiguita!

Lesson 14 has mirrored my life in a pretty interesting way. Two things that have happened to me down here, both of which are quite hilarious. Once, when I was first learning spanish in my first week, part of my study routine was to head to the bar and have a beer to take the edge off the whole learning process. As it were, I was living with an Argentine woman, and came home fairly tipsy around 7 pm...that is like lunch time by Argentine standards. So, feeling abit embarrassed for my inebriated state, I decided to head into the shower and then put myself to bed early. To tell her this I say something along the lines of "nesecito la basura", She quite rightly loks at me very confused, I then again state, this time with hand jestures to explain, "necesito la basura, lavo con basura". I think I am saying that I need to use the bathroom, the shower, In fact I am saying I need to wash myself in trash. Dear god. We laughed so hard once the mix up was clear...

Yesterday I met El Hormiguita. He is a huge ant man. A man dressed as an art super hero who cruises around La Boca. He is fabulous and introduced my friend and I to all the musicians and street vendors so we could busk for money in the streets. Brilliant.

Lesson 14 contains both of my favorite things in a funny way: ants and trash...

bed>

sos un chamuyero!

This was a hilarious lesson teaching the word - chamuyero - which stands for bullshitter. This is pretty funny because I learned this word yesterday in a little pizza place in La Boca while waiting for my dinner. I met some locals who were telling me NEVER to cross a certain street in La Boca, and other areas that were off limits because they are ran by gangs that will take all of your things. Also, it is super dangerous to take a taxi down through there as well, a woman was killed in a taxi recently so they could steal her bag...super sketchy. 

Anyways, one of the words they taught me was chamuyero, used in context "no me chamuyes!" Don't bullshit me!

HA! I love it. Well, I am on the hunt for another spanish tutor...will be straight forward and share it with my readers...my last teacher got all slimy and super creepy vibe on me. It is a real bummer, he is an AMAZING teacher, really funny and interesting, great lessons, I learned a ton in 2 classes, he has had many female students over years and even has a daughter and son my age...but he creeped on me. I am not an easy one to startle. I often have a mouth like a sailor, have traveled all over the world, had numerous love affairs, drink whiskey on the rocks, but dude got out of hand. It was subtle, but crossed the line. I need a female teacher, I am done with the men here. Thats another reason the program Bueno, entones...is great, David might be sketch dude in the videos, but you never have to deal with him hitting on you in person (and it is all part of the charm).  

sounds of mating cats

The most god awful sound is outside my window at this moment making it VERY difficult for me to concentrate on my spanish class from Bueno, entonces...Mating cats in the patio making sounds that are similar to torturing babies, soulless ghosts searching for peace...it is horrible and I want to throw rocks. OK, I am a cat lover, I will not be throwing rocks, but I hate their sounds and I will never look at cats the same way again after hearing these horrible sounds of lovemaking. I am in a bit of a mood because I am tired and thoroughly drained after teaching a class today and following it with 4 hours of a private spanish class. When you really want to learn something it is incredibly draining because you put all of your attention into what is going on at the moment to try and understand the crazy words being so beautiful slurred together at you. The class 12 is pretty hilarious and right on par with my mood considering David and Jimena are both super cranky and getting frustrated and pissed with each other:
>

A donde vas?

It is too cold, I am having one of those "what the f*#k" am I doing in BsAs moments when I could be stretched out on a beach in Thailand drinking cocktails, fire dancing at night, and eating incredible food?!!! AHHHH, Then I remember, when I break it all down to the real purpose, I am here to experience this incredible culture and learn to speak the beautiful spanish. I experienced a frustrating moment today when asking for direction to the art store....sometimes you think you are getting comfortable with the language and then a whole string of nonsense comes out and when it is important like directions, you are screwed. Amazingly enough my spanish class today covered these points, I am just going to watch it over and over on repeat...Lesson 11 was really helpful. AHHH, so cold in this enormous art space, I am wearing boots and my toes are still freezing...but then I think about the children you see in the streets with out shoes and I feel like a total spoiled baby with my abundance of socks, shoes, and complaints. I am going to begin working on a program with a friend to design a class to teach people how to make really simple shoes with very basic materials, often you can find them as scraps by all the leather factories, additionally the fabric stores lay out scraps. 

I have attached the lesson from Bueno, entonces... with the directions, it is helpfull:

fotos!

I love my house! I am living with such wonderful creative people. We had a photo shoot in the house by Romania, who is an incredible photographer and has a wonderful space set up to take professional pictures. I have professional "circus quality" face paint and painted everyones faces and then we dressed up and took pictures. I had a moment looking around with a heart full of happiness when I realized "this is my life". I live in BsAs, paint faces, make art, and play guitar surrounded by wonderful people. MAN, am I blessed! I will hopefully be having some of my friends from San Francisco come to visit soon and will get to show them some local spots. I am going to be heading out tonight to one of my favorite Monday night spots. After "La Bomba De Tiempo" which is a local group of amazing percussionists preforming at a cultural center every monday night to a crowd of hundreds, there is live music at a hostel called "the Clan". This is my favorite hostel in BsAs and I recommend going there if you ever come to visit. They have great live music in the upstairs bar area, there is a mixture of locals and foreigners, and cheap drinks served by wonderful, fun people. My good friend Hacho runs the place and I will be painting a mural there soon as well as preforming when ever I get my set together. My creative inspiration these days seems to be very directed toward Physical art making as opposed to musical art making, and then of course, studying spanish. I had an excellent private spanish class yesterday that was a free intro, and we ended up talking for 5 hours! It was pretty amazing, and yes, my head was definitely exploding. I am hoping between these classes and my Bueno, entonces...spanish learning program I will be comfortably speaking in no time!

what time do you masturbate?

I am becoming a collectivo master! The bus system here is wonderful and ridiculous (much like the city itself). I have tried fairly successfully to avoid using the collectivos because it is hard to figure out where they go, if you are heading the right direction, where to get off, and for that matter what street you are actually on. The drivers move at a break neck speed cutting off bike riders silly enough to brave the streets of BsAs. If you wonder why so many people have a limp around here I would guess it is due to a miscalculated bus swiping on a corner. You really have to look both ways and check the sidewalks for potential oncoming motorcyclists who find it perfectly acceptable to cruise down the side walk. Living in La Boca requires that I become bus savvy and I am proud to say I feel very local rolling around on the busses. My spanish studying is coming along in leaps, and standing frustratingly still. It is very hard to acquire another language without sufficient "book time", and I just do not feel the call to study the 'ol dictionario. So, beside my "sexo en la cuidad" TV series, and the Bueno, entonces...language program, I am picking things up in the streets and through conversations with my housemates. 

As I have mentioned before I do not like learning the numbers in spanish...I should probably stop saying that as it is my own limiting mental state I am manifesting here, but hey...I don't like em. Class 9 does a pretty fun job of teaching "time" and the numbers associated through sex and masturbation, the universal language!

vamos a tomar mate!

I have found the BEST empanadas in BsAs! Well, I make a pretty mean empanada myself...tasty fillo dough esque pastry treats, stuffed with your choice of fillings, typically: carne picante (a lie, there is nothing picante about Argentine cuisine), pollo, humita, verduras, queso azul, jamon y queso...ricisimo! I have found a stand in La Boca that sells these incredible hot from the oven empanadas for 2 pesos each (that is about 50 cents). I could eat 10 a day, with an ice cold cerveza...I better join a gym 

: ) This country is dangerous to my girlish figure. Screw it.

nothing better to follow up some empanada eating then a tasty mate. Mate is a drink (see the foolish photo of Dave above), actually the name for the container (gourd) the tea is drank from. The tea itself is called yerba and is a green woody like substance that is steeped in water and than drank through a metal straw called a bombilla. EVERYBODY drinks mate here. They even have hot water machines in some of the bus stations to refill your container so you can drink mate at all moments during the day...bus drivers cruise the street drinking mate (and yelling love promises at pretty women out the window), construction workers drink it while working, people kickin it on the street...it is one non stop mate party here (maybe this is the secrete behind the non stop libido - this has to be one country where viagra sales are in the red - old men in their 80's will whistle, smile, and look you up and down with an appreciating "que hermosa que sos!) Back to the mate... I like the taste although it takes some getting used to. I lived in a co-op in Berkeley CA with a group of international people, so I have been drinking mate for sometime, but the first taste is a bit intense. Kind of like hot, bitter, tree clippings. Ummm, tasty. Something about it grows on you though (well, it is a drug) and it has a beautiful sharing ceremony associated with it. The mate is filled with yerba and after removing the excess yerba dust (variety of techniques for this trick as well) hot water is slowly poured in so as not to saturate the entire pile of yerba. It is drank hot with the bombilla and once drained, refilled with hot water and passed to someone in the mate circle. This continues around with the same person refilling the mate with water each time. When you don't want any more the customary thing to say is "gracias" and then it will not be passed to you again. Many of my Argentine friends drink mate for breakfast instead of coffee...I wouldn't go that far, but it is a nice after coffee pre beer beverage choice. They do a great job breaking down the mate ceremony in the 8th class for Bueno, entonces...

anarchist pastry

So this is a picture of the fool David. I say that lovingly though, as I tend to call all of my close buddies fool, foolio, or some form of said fooldom. That is the feeling you get when watching Bueno, entonces...is that you definitely know this guy. If I am ever to run into him in the streets of BsAs, we will get along very well - I enjoy his humor. Class 7 is actually one of my favorite so far (do I keep saying that in the posts...no cause I slammed the last one...but I do really like class 7). They introduce alot of useful vocab such as "resaca" (hung over) and do a good job of explaining the difference between "saber and conocer". And my favorite tid bit is that facturas (Argentine breakfast pastry) have anarchist roots. Yup. Names for sweet tasty treats such as "vigilante". Clearly pretty ironic now, much like Che Guevara t shirts, but still interesting non the less. They also go into the story of mate...I love mate! If you look at the inserted photo it is the "bong esque" looking container filled with questionable green material. And yes, it is a drug - kind of like coffee but a smoother ride...

Day 2 in my art collective is wonderful. I stayed up till 2am last night making art in the wide open space with other artists, drinking said mate - and then some : ) I have been practicing a ton of spanish but also nodding convincingly even when I am only kinda sure what is going on.  Dammit, I need to kick this whole spanish thing into gear. It is hard to learn a new language, it is true. I have found a language partner to do some exchange through a program called conversation exchange on the internet. It helps people find others in their area to set up language exchanges. Unfortunately, of course, some sketch balls use it as a dating site (OK, so that wouldn't be above me I admit it...but most of the dude are super sketch!). I fortunately found a super cool girl, and we hang out, drink beer, and practice speaking in each others languages.

La Boca

I am living now in the beautiful barrio of La Boca Buenos Aires with a group of artists and musicians in a great home with a ton of art space. I am super tired today so this blog might be kinda short, been moving all day and setting up my art space, I will post photos soon, it is AMAZING! Everyone here speaks spanish (duh...I am in BsAs - but still, it is easy to make English speaking friends here) so I think this is really going to kick my spanish into high gear...or I am going to feel like quite the fool. Nothing like learning a language and actually have to use it to make you feel like a complete idiot. It is very humbling. Luckily the men here find it charming (I could sit here mute and they would find it charming I think...but if in doubt I just sing em a song on the guitar and ask for help with my spanish...works for me) I do not know HOW guys meet these Argentine women with poor language skills. The ladies here are a tough breed, having had to deal with the Argie guys for so many years, they have a real cold front sometimes (I know I am stereotyping - forgive me). I am a scientist and I tend to make broad statements based on the "observational data" I have collected and statistically grouped.
speaking of math...numbers are very hard for me in spanish and I don't ever study them. I guess that reflects on my general attitude toward money. It has never been a problem for me (not a trust fund kid) it just seems to come into my life when I need it, and disappear somewhere along the way...ANYways, learning numbers in spanish have never been too easy for me so I do appreciate the lessons in Bueno, entonces... regarding lesson 6, instruction was good BUT I found it boring. I am not sure if my brain was just too tired to deal with the lesson or what, but it was not my favorite. We will see how tomorrow goes...

my waiter did a pole dance!

This city is amazing, outrageous, and completely heart breaking at times. I went to the most beautiful house concert at a friends house. It was an incredible indoor/outdoor patio space with everybody sitting on the floor, candlelight, wine, and panes rellenos. The music was beautiful, many guitars with a very gypsy swing Django Reindhart sound, some of the best and most passionate live guitar playing I have seen in my life. The man is a friend of mine - Elio Giraldi. He is INCREDIBLE! There was another man playing Brazilian bossanova as well - a beautiful intimate night, I felt very lucky to be a part of it. And nobody spoke any English! Forcing me to really pull out all the material I have been learning with Bueno, entonces... The next day I headed to the San Telmo street fair and played guitar in the streets with my friend Alicia and attracted a fun group of people who danced and clapped to our songs, we even sang a few in Spanish. We then headed to one of my favorite parrillas called Des Nivel and decided to split a steak because the portions are so huge, and the night was fairly young. This caused some serious eye rolling of our absurd waiter, who sighed, gestured as if he were annoyed, and seemed to try to ignore us in this very contrived way. It was so ridiculous I decided he was putting on a show and that I would break him down, and get his fun side to come out...well hell, I did better than that apparently because as we were leaving (and this is a pretty damn nice restaurant) my waiter grabs a vertical pole in front of me and straight does a pole dance, completely gyrating his hips all the way down the pole, then takes my hand and kisses it. I laughed so hard tears were spilling out - he was maybe 100lbs, 55 years old, classic Italian/Argentine looking guy. To much - only in Argentina!
Heart was broken this morning on the subte on my way to work watching a nine year old huff glue from a bag and just be completely out of his mind...the homeless and working children in the streets is nothing I will ever be able to get used to. The lack of love they have received in their lives is so overwhelmingly apparent that they almost feel like a different kind of human being, the energy is very primal and empty at the same time...it is so sad.

Hola che!

Fourth lesson in and I have to say I am still impressed. They are covering all the things that my spanish class that I took in BsAs didn't. I am only in the fourth lesson but they have gone into all the really cool slang that people use in the street here: "Hola che! Que onda?" "Che boludo, venis a mi casa"...you here more "che" "dale" and "boludo" in BsAs than any other words I can think of. If you can figure out how to properly incorporate those into your language usage you can work wonders in the bar. I was thinking back to my brief flirtation I had with the Rosetta Stone program (brief because it was free for a short while through my University library). Bueno entonces is so much more entertaining! Don't get me wrong, Rosetta Stone is a great tool, but INSANELY expensive, around 500$ whereas you can get Bueno, entonces... for under 200$ for the DVD set or less then 150$ downloaded to itunes. And Bueno, entonces... is sexy! I know I keep saying that, but its like going to Italy and not eating the pasta...Argentina is dripping in passion and sexuality, the path to learning the language should reflect this part of the culture. There are some hilarious lines where Jimena explains the secrete of the "Latin Lover" stereo type and the loose tounge...you should watch this:  

Una casa de artistas!

I am going to be living in a BEAUTIFUL collective house of artists! It is called Entrey Arte and it is in the beautiful barrio La Boca, in Buenos Aires. La Boca is amazingly lovely yet super sketch at night. I am living in the area near the artists and street performers, so during the day, everything is fine. But I will not be parading down the street in my "goin out" clothes, during the nighttime hours. This complicates my life abit...as I am definitely living the starving artist life, taking taxis everywhere to go out on the weekends is going to get pricey. During the day it will be all about the collectivos (buses), but the house is perfect. Check it out: Entreyarte.blogspot.com

If you scroll down the aforementioned site they have a tour of the house, the classes, gallery/show room space, and studio space. Everyone there speaks spanish so it will be a grand opportunity to practice all the spanish I have been learning through Bueno, entonces.... My third lesson has gone well, they  are really good at including the culture here in Buenos Aires. I have lived in the city for almost 4 months, and have gotten a real feel for the Porteno vibe. I love that they bring up the lack of change (money and coins) in the city. It is a ridiculous problem. I can't tell you how many times I have had to barter at the fruit stand to make the price work: "OK, no tengo monedas, entoneces...dos mas manzanas y una banana?" or, "No tienes cambio? Buneos, quiero dos cervasas." Then everyone is happy I guess (look at me using all my spanish I have been learning!) Problem is my consumption rate is going up, up, up. 

Numbers in Spanish have always been a problem for me but I like the way they address them in the 3rd spanish lesson. Dave is so ridiculous...in true style he asks Jimena if she likes 69. The sexuality of the program makes watching the lessons actually feel like an entertaining sitcom that helps you to learn. OK, I will share a secrete...I am abit embarrassed about it though...I have bought an entire series of Sex and the City" (Sexo y la ciudad) in Spanish to learn conversation while being entertained. I tried with "The Simpsons" but the cartoon voices are really hard to understand. My spanish learning in this country is so spicy it is no wonder I get myself in all this trouble...porque no? Solo tengo una vida! Check out some of Dave's absurd daydreamings in lesson 3:

Perfect Day!

The weather is ridiculous right now...probably around 70 degrees...amazing. When I finish my "strenuous" tasks of picking up the laundry (2 loads washed, ironed, folded all for 5 dollars!!), make something delicious to eat, begin the process of boxing up my room to move, and finish my lessons for Bueno, entonces..., I am going to treat myself to mimosas in a bikini. I have a beautiful patio full of plants and plenty of space to stretch out and paint, play guitar, and read in the sun...while sipping back bubbly decadence. Ah, life is good!  

I watched lesson 2 of my spanish learning program, and I just can't say enough how well done this spanish program is. If I were to write a program to help others learn spanish it would be very similar to this. I used to teach Physiology to high school students in the east oakland hood...really intense, through a program called "oakland teaching fellows". One of my biggest concerns (beside staying alive, not getting my car stolen, or robbed) was to find a way to connect the material to the students interests and actually teach something. I don't like wasting time, mine or that of anyone else. Here I was, Berkeley educated, guitar playing (dont say the hippy word...I am not a hippy dammit - but definitely not versed in the Bay area hip hop scene) trying to come in to this other world and humbly yet with passion and entertainment value, teach something. How to connect the lessons? I hit upon the universal truth: Everyone is interested in sex. There it is. I found that by connecting every lesson to sex, drugs, or "disgusting" bodily processes (easy in a biology course), my class was full of laughter and non stop hands in the air and questions. 

This spanish program is excellent because it has an undercurrent of sexuality that makes it hilarious, interesting, and entertaining. You remember what they teach. Here is another clip:

Sexy Castellano!

Round 1 with my new Spanish program Bueno, entonces... and I love it!!! It is written how a spanish program for adults should be. I wish I would have known about it before coming to Argentina because it would have prepared me so much better for the trip. You get to experience the Argentine accent directly in the program and all kinds of cultural things relevant to BsAs. It has a super sexy twist to the lesson, and feels almost as if you are watching a funny sitcom - also the intro theme reminds me of my favorite show "Arrested Development". 

This is definitely the best spanish program I have experienced. The interactions between Dave and Jimena are brilliant. Dave has a beautiful English accent and is learning to speak spanish while Jimena speaks clear and beautiful castellano - and she is super hot. The lessons are fun and interesting with adult language and humor making spanish learning accessible to the people who would be traveling, living, or studying abroad. I found myself having to pause the program while I laughed at Dave's absurd comments. I really like that they included an explanation of the terms "yanqui" and "gringo" and where they came from, as well as the classic "stupid American" misnomer of claiming the title of "American" as for those solely in the U.S. when there is a vast amount of country known to the world as "America".  Also, to have the verb for cuddling explained in the first lesson "hacer cucharita" pure genius...I have asked a number of people about this in spanish, and they thought to put it in the first lesson. Good job! Sometimes you need to let someone know..."sure you can come back but only to "hacer cucharita"...I have some more spanish lessons to get through before things get crazy chicos...

: )

Check out the video for a taste of Dave's humor:

virgin blogger

I am a virgin blogger so forgive me ahead of time for the free form course this blog is about to undergo, and all the awkward transitions...but I am a quick learner : )

I am 27 years old, currently living in the ABSOLUTELY amazing city of Buenos Aires Argentina (Buenos Aires by the way is a COMPLETE misnomer...massive amounts of air pollution and dog shit, this city does not have good air!) 

My name is Juniper and I am here for no better reason than to study beautiful Argentine spanish (men), play guitar and sing in the streets, and paint anything and everyone. I seem to be blessed with good fortune at every turn, a sign that I am in the right spot and doing the right things with my life. I am not a blogger by nature....my travel stories tend toward the extremely interesting and wild, therefor are typically sent via email group to those very close friends who know/accept/and love me for the gypsy soul that I am. This blog is a direct example of an exquisite case of manifestation...synchronicity if you will. 

I will explain: Buenos Aires is a great place to come and learn to speak Spanish...but the programs are EXPENSIVE! I did two weeks and then felt like I was getting the complete tourist tax and did not want to waste my money, even though the classes were great and helpful. I am living in BsAs (thats Buenos Aires in shorthand) for an unknown amount of time (as long as I am happy) and trying to not bleed money all over the streets. I have been here for about 4 months and as my street and barroom spanish was coming along smashingly I realized I needed to step it up and get serious with a program, classes, or an Argentine boyfriend (dictionario gratis - free dictionary). I literally said to my friend that I play guitar with "I need to figure something out with spanish, but I don't want to pay for it" and then BAMM! The gods of Craigslist smiled upon me and I found a company called Bueno, entonces... They have this incredible new language program for itunes and they were going to give it to me for FREE and pay me to blog my opinion about it. 

Well, this is getting wordy so I'm out, but go to my next postings where I will discuss my daily life, the program  Bueno, entonces... compared to the Rosetta Stone program, and all manner of interesting art, music, and BsAs experiences that befall my wanderings through this silly trip I call living.