my waiter did a pole dance!

This city is amazing, outrageous, and completely heart breaking at times. I went to the most beautiful house concert at a friends house. It was an incredible indoor/outdoor patio space with everybody sitting on the floor, candlelight, wine, and panes rellenos. The music was beautiful, many guitars with a very gypsy swing Django Reindhart sound, some of the best and most passionate live guitar playing I have seen in my life. The man is a friend of mine - Elio Giraldi. He is INCREDIBLE! There was another man playing Brazilian bossanova as well - a beautiful intimate night, I felt very lucky to be a part of it. And nobody spoke any English! Forcing me to really pull out all the material I have been learning with Bueno, entonces... The next day I headed to the San Telmo street fair and played guitar in the streets with my friend Alicia and attracted a fun group of people who danced and clapped to our songs, we even sang a few in Spanish. We then headed to one of my favorite parrillas called Des Nivel and decided to split a steak because the portions are so huge, and the night was fairly young. This caused some serious eye rolling of our absurd waiter, who sighed, gestured as if he were annoyed, and seemed to try to ignore us in this very contrived way. It was so ridiculous I decided he was putting on a show and that I would break him down, and get his fun side to come out...well hell, I did better than that apparently because as we were leaving (and this is a pretty damn nice restaurant) my waiter grabs a vertical pole in front of me and straight does a pole dance, completely gyrating his hips all the way down the pole, then takes my hand and kisses it. I laughed so hard tears were spilling out - he was maybe 100lbs, 55 years old, classic Italian/Argentine looking guy. To much - only in Argentina!
Heart was broken this morning on the subte on my way to work watching a nine year old huff glue from a bag and just be completely out of his mind...the homeless and working children in the streets is nothing I will ever be able to get used to. The lack of love they have received in their lives is so overwhelmingly apparent that they almost feel like a different kind of human being, the energy is very primal and empty at the same time...it is so sad.

Hola che!

Fourth lesson in and I have to say I am still impressed. They are covering all the things that my spanish class that I took in BsAs didn't. I am only in the fourth lesson but they have gone into all the really cool slang that people use in the street here: "Hola che! Que onda?" "Che boludo, venis a mi casa"...you here more "che" "dale" and "boludo" in BsAs than any other words I can think of. If you can figure out how to properly incorporate those into your language usage you can work wonders in the bar. I was thinking back to my brief flirtation I had with the Rosetta Stone program (brief because it was free for a short while through my University library). Bueno entonces is so much more entertaining! Don't get me wrong, Rosetta Stone is a great tool, but INSANELY expensive, around 500$ whereas you can get Bueno, entonces... for under 200$ for the DVD set or less then 150$ downloaded to itunes. And Bueno, entonces... is sexy! I know I keep saying that, but its like going to Italy and not eating the pasta...Argentina is dripping in passion and sexuality, the path to learning the language should reflect this part of the culture. There are some hilarious lines where Jimena explains the secrete of the "Latin Lover" stereo type and the loose tounge...you should watch this:  

Una casa de artistas!

I am going to be living in a BEAUTIFUL collective house of artists! It is called Entrey Arte and it is in the beautiful barrio La Boca, in Buenos Aires. La Boca is amazingly lovely yet super sketch at night. I am living in the area near the artists and street performers, so during the day, everything is fine. But I will not be parading down the street in my "goin out" clothes, during the nighttime hours. This complicates my life abit...as I am definitely living the starving artist life, taking taxis everywhere to go out on the weekends is going to get pricey. During the day it will be all about the collectivos (buses), but the house is perfect. Check it out: Entreyarte.blogspot.com

If you scroll down the aforementioned site they have a tour of the house, the classes, gallery/show room space, and studio space. Everyone there speaks spanish so it will be a grand opportunity to practice all the spanish I have been learning through Bueno, entonces.... My third lesson has gone well, they  are really good at including the culture here in Buenos Aires. I have lived in the city for almost 4 months, and have gotten a real feel for the Porteno vibe. I love that they bring up the lack of change (money and coins) in the city. It is a ridiculous problem. I can't tell you how many times I have had to barter at the fruit stand to make the price work: "OK, no tengo monedas, entoneces...dos mas manzanas y una banana?" or, "No tienes cambio? Buneos, quiero dos cervasas." Then everyone is happy I guess (look at me using all my spanish I have been learning!) Problem is my consumption rate is going up, up, up. 

Numbers in Spanish have always been a problem for me but I like the way they address them in the 3rd spanish lesson. Dave is so ridiculous...in true style he asks Jimena if she likes 69. The sexuality of the program makes watching the lessons actually feel like an entertaining sitcom that helps you to learn. OK, I will share a secrete...I am abit embarrassed about it though...I have bought an entire series of Sex and the City" (Sexo y la ciudad) in Spanish to learn conversation while being entertained. I tried with "The Simpsons" but the cartoon voices are really hard to understand. My spanish learning in this country is so spicy it is no wonder I get myself in all this trouble...porque no? Solo tengo una vida! Check out some of Dave's absurd daydreamings in lesson 3:

Perfect Day!

The weather is ridiculous right now...probably around 70 degrees...amazing. When I finish my "strenuous" tasks of picking up the laundry (2 loads washed, ironed, folded all for 5 dollars!!), make something delicious to eat, begin the process of boxing up my room to move, and finish my lessons for Bueno, entonces..., I am going to treat myself to mimosas in a bikini. I have a beautiful patio full of plants and plenty of space to stretch out and paint, play guitar, and read in the sun...while sipping back bubbly decadence. Ah, life is good!  

I watched lesson 2 of my spanish learning program, and I just can't say enough how well done this spanish program is. If I were to write a program to help others learn spanish it would be very similar to this. I used to teach Physiology to high school students in the east oakland hood...really intense, through a program called "oakland teaching fellows". One of my biggest concerns (beside staying alive, not getting my car stolen, or robbed) was to find a way to connect the material to the students interests and actually teach something. I don't like wasting time, mine or that of anyone else. Here I was, Berkeley educated, guitar playing (dont say the hippy word...I am not a hippy dammit - but definitely not versed in the Bay area hip hop scene) trying to come in to this other world and humbly yet with passion and entertainment value, teach something. How to connect the lessons? I hit upon the universal truth: Everyone is interested in sex. There it is. I found that by connecting every lesson to sex, drugs, or "disgusting" bodily processes (easy in a biology course), my class was full of laughter and non stop hands in the air and questions. 

This spanish program is excellent because it has an undercurrent of sexuality that makes it hilarious, interesting, and entertaining. You remember what they teach. Here is another clip:

Sexy Castellano!

Round 1 with my new Spanish program Bueno, entonces... and I love it!!! It is written how a spanish program for adults should be. I wish I would have known about it before coming to Argentina because it would have prepared me so much better for the trip. You get to experience the Argentine accent directly in the program and all kinds of cultural things relevant to BsAs. It has a super sexy twist to the lesson, and feels almost as if you are watching a funny sitcom - also the intro theme reminds me of my favorite show "Arrested Development". 

This is definitely the best spanish program I have experienced. The interactions between Dave and Jimena are brilliant. Dave has a beautiful English accent and is learning to speak spanish while Jimena speaks clear and beautiful castellano - and she is super hot. The lessons are fun and interesting with adult language and humor making spanish learning accessible to the people who would be traveling, living, or studying abroad. I found myself having to pause the program while I laughed at Dave's absurd comments. I really like that they included an explanation of the terms "yanqui" and "gringo" and where they came from, as well as the classic "stupid American" misnomer of claiming the title of "American" as for those solely in the U.S. when there is a vast amount of country known to the world as "America".  Also, to have the verb for cuddling explained in the first lesson "hacer cucharita" pure genius...I have asked a number of people about this in spanish, and they thought to put it in the first lesson. Good job! Sometimes you need to let someone know..."sure you can come back but only to "hacer cucharita"...I have some more spanish lessons to get through before things get crazy chicos...

: )

Check out the video for a taste of Dave's humor:

virgin blogger

I am a virgin blogger so forgive me ahead of time for the free form course this blog is about to undergo, and all the awkward transitions...but I am a quick learner : )

I am 27 years old, currently living in the ABSOLUTELY amazing city of Buenos Aires Argentina (Buenos Aires by the way is a COMPLETE misnomer...massive amounts of air pollution and dog shit, this city does not have good air!) 

My name is Juniper and I am here for no better reason than to study beautiful Argentine spanish (men), play guitar and sing in the streets, and paint anything and everyone. I seem to be blessed with good fortune at every turn, a sign that I am in the right spot and doing the right things with my life. I am not a blogger by nature....my travel stories tend toward the extremely interesting and wild, therefor are typically sent via email group to those very close friends who know/accept/and love me for the gypsy soul that I am. This blog is a direct example of an exquisite case of manifestation...synchronicity if you will. 

I will explain: Buenos Aires is a great place to come and learn to speak Spanish...but the programs are EXPENSIVE! I did two weeks and then felt like I was getting the complete tourist tax and did not want to waste my money, even though the classes were great and helpful. I am living in BsAs (thats Buenos Aires in shorthand) for an unknown amount of time (as long as I am happy) and trying to not bleed money all over the streets. I have been here for about 4 months and as my street and barroom spanish was coming along smashingly I realized I needed to step it up and get serious with a program, classes, or an Argentine boyfriend (dictionario gratis - free dictionary). I literally said to my friend that I play guitar with "I need to figure something out with spanish, but I don't want to pay for it" and then BAMM! The gods of Craigslist smiled upon me and I found a company called Bueno, entonces... They have this incredible new language program for itunes and they were going to give it to me for FREE and pay me to blog my opinion about it. 

Well, this is getting wordy so I'm out, but go to my next postings where I will discuss my daily life, the program  Bueno, entonces... compared to the Rosetta Stone program, and all manner of interesting art, music, and BsAs experiences that befall my wanderings through this silly trip I call living.